Life — It’s All Good

I have always viewed employment as more than just
work to earn money. My belief is that you should work to
live, not live to work. Your job should not completely
define the person you are, but since it will be the activity
you spend most of your time at, you should find meaning
and enjoyment in your work.

I lost sight of my perspective in exchange for
respectability, prestige and the lure of a good paycheck.
Having joined the workforce with a degree in sociology
and a background in physical education, I initially jumped
into a position as a recreation counselor with “at risk” adolescents
in a residential facility. It was hard, draining work,
but rewarding and meaningful. I felt similarly about my
next position as the Teen Talk/Crisis Line director at a suicide
prevention and crisis center. I enjoyed making a connection
and “being there” for the teenagers, but the
emotional involvement and constant availability wore me
out physically at an early age. My decision to return to
school to pursue a graduate degree in journalism was
based on my dream to write and perform communications
work for a nonprofit organization whose mission I could
support wholeheartedly.

Instead, I found myself at I.B.M., first as an intern, then
five years later as a Web site manager and corporate communications
writer/editor. While my position at I.B.M.
afforded me the realization of dreams such as travel to
exotic destinations and a large home on acreage in the
Rocky Mountains, it did nothing to inspire me or feed my
soul that I felt was in the process of slowly shriveling. So,
on the verge of the breakup in my ten-year marriage and
the recovery from a major mental meltdown and depression,
I opted to take a severance package and “find
myself.”

Two weeks later, a flyer advertising for white water raft
guide certification training caught my eye as I found
myself alone at the library on a Saturday night. The rest,
as it is said, is history.

At age thirty-four, I discovered a new calling. I became
the one female raft and rockclimbing guide for a company
known as “Rock-N-Row.” My cushy corporate life with a
secure paycheck became a distant memory as I spent my
days outside in the sun, wind, heat, cold and snow. I
learned to row, to read the water, to steer the paddle boat
and call commands with authority, to rescue “swimmers,”
to tie appropriate knots, to belay safely and entertain the
adventurous folk who came to play.

My sense of self, severely undermined in the years preceding
the divorce, became stronger, and my self-esteem
grew as each day passed with new experiences—
successes and disappointments. I learned not to take life
so seriously, and to be able to laugh at myself. My physical
self benefited from the outdoor challenges and I liked
the person I was freeing myself to be. The new man in my
life – my best friend - appreciated my inner and outer qualities and we
enjoy skiing, climbing, rafting, hiking and even sky diving on occasion.

To emerge from the soft, safe, corporate computer world
into the sometimes brutal realities of outdoor life was a
wake-up call. Two near-death experiences—one as a result
from a flip in a Class IV rapid at high water and the other
from a rock shelf breaking loose above me as I belayed a
climber - taught me that if I planned to take risks, they
should be calculated. I carried my motto of “No Fear” into
my professional and personal life and learned to trust in
me—my decisions, my emotions, the person I am. The
winter before my dramatic life changes was one of discontent,
yet the time since has been one of affirming life and
reawakening my soul. I can honestly say, no matter the
situation, “It’s all good.” For what is the alternative?

Patty LaTaille

Published in Chicken Soup for the Working Woman's Soul, 2003